I have been thinking to write this for so long a very long time.. but somehow words failed.. or may be plain laziness I am not sure why..
Any way, an incident provoked it.. A small incident.. here it is…
Although I don’t get very close or personal to many of my office colleagues, I do get along very nicely with them.. so, we.. a small group of ladies of different age went down for Ice cream.. 2 of them were married ladies, and among them there is one, I admire the most, I like her for her talent in work and also because of her uniqueness, she is married and behaves so too.. but being in a corporate world, she interacts very well with everyone, including guys, and I don’t see there is any problem with that.. we are not in the 60’s were it is unthinkable.. we are in a world were every one is equal.. So coming back to……. Ice cream, we saw a colleague (a male) and my friend invited him too.. since he was busy he politely refused..
A GIRL in the group suddenly commented “why do you always want men around you.. why not behave like a married woman..” (well I polished her words a bit.. ) My friend just smiled and shrugged her shoulder and walked off.. she thinks the girl is too little (chinna ponnu) and forgave her.. but my emotions were not so calm like hers.. I felt like knocking her down.. (that is exactly what I felt..) but when the accused and defendant has no issues I didn’t have much to do there also my previous experiences of stepping in front for some one always ended in me being clobbered.. I am gifted with a face that cannot mask my feelings and so are my words, at times very brutally honest... could be my negative character.. never mind.. I don’t give much thought to it.. I couldn’t stop the stare that escaped me.. but the waves doesn’t stop in my head.. the frustration too..
What on earth!.. why this discrimination? As far as I know what a married women should never do.. is only one thing.. having an affair that damages her life.. that again is her own problem.. we people just waste so much of our time on peeking into others life, and enjoying their sorrow.. that is how, many are brought up.. talking in hush hush tone about our neighbors and then fake smiling in their presence.. A girl shouldn’t talk freely to a guy.. a widow shouldn’t dress attractively.. divorced girls are provocative and bad.. What the hell.. disgusting..
Coming back.. My married friend said that the GIRL was just 23 and not experienced in life.. Is experience needed To talk sensibly? Is experience really needed to respect people for what they are.. I am not preaching good qualities here.. but we can very well respect people for the qualities they exhibit to us.. (not the fake ones.. believe me we can easily distinguish fake smiles and comments too!!)
People keep saying that men don’t respect us and humiliate us.. come on! Do we respect the fellow female? If we cant understand another girl how will a man? Are all the girls in saree angels? And jeans makes a girl cheat? Why this stereotype? Isn't the virtue inside that determines the character? And outfit doesn’t matter.. In train one day I overheard a girl advising her male friend not to marry a girl just because she is modern… Duh!!!! Why does the so called "On Par with western" education not changing the basic nature?
Every girl has a circle around her, the circle of confidence.. she lets a few inside.. the radius may differ, like for some, even a handshake is a no no.. for others the radius is bigger.. dressing too.. is according to her convenience.. just because a guy gawks at a girl in shorts doesn’t make her bad.. Even if we don’t respect her.. its better to leave them to carry on with their life and take care of our own life.. after all every ones sorrows are their own only, no one can share it!