Friday, February 3, 2012

Why do they gossip?

Sometimes a belief created in a lifetime, just tumbles down in a moment and that moment of realization is really like a hard slap in the face. I once believed that "Men don't gossip" the belief that got stronger and stronger because of the men I met in my life.. because of the people I got along with, until one day the devil showed its face.. and God! its not pleasant..

When I say gossips I don’t mean the real information that goes around, that is news.. what I mean is about this stuff someone invents in their head and sets on fire by running it into another person’s ears.. Shall I ask..  if they are so good in spinning the yard and creating stories who not publish a book? Or let me give an easier solution.. start a blog.. and become fictitious.. and stop poking their nose and all other unwanted stuffs into others life.

Right from the olden days we associate gossips to women. So is it unmanly to gossip? Or is there something missing in them that makes them behave so? Of late I am seeing some men who are shameless and gutless that they walk around inventing stories about women who has nothing to do with them.. Women who talk their mind, have always been the target for these gossips. My rational mind does not give me a reason as of why they do this.. nor do I get reply from my emotional half..

A silly casual talk in a group of men like, “she is fast” or “I saw her with that guy yesterday” or more than anything pointing to a girl standing harmlessly at the far end and raising the eye brows and shrinking the nose and nodding head left and right, that little gesture is enough to kill her reputation. I am not saying that every women should care about these filthy talks and sit in a corner and cry.. I am just annoyed at how such men enjoy doing it.. slaying someone’s credibility in a second and spreading it like wildfire.. If any one comes and tells me that 
"Say it to a women and it will never remain a secret" or "It is the girls that spread the rumour" then I wouldn’t think twice before swearing. 

As long as a human (be it a man or women) has eyes, ears, mouth and a shameless character they can spin a story about anybody anytime.

What concerns me more is, why? why to invent stories? why to spread it actively? Why to call a women whose husband stays oversees with names? Why to think that a widowed or divorced woman an easy catch? why to call a twenty eight + unmarried women as slut? Even if she is one.. why to care about it? Don’t we have handful of responsibilities and dreams and ambitions and life of our own?  Why to spoil it by spoiling others life? Is it really that hard to just mind one’s own business??

46 comments:

  1. My dear KP , all are not equally competent
    They are just not good for anything better
    Hence they gossip
    Let them gossip na, it does'nt and should'nt affect any woman .. if anything stinks it is their foul mouth alone..
    And do remember the dictum: people who gossip with you, gossip about you too:-)

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    1. Yes Pygma.. the way u put it.. it looks simple.. and silly! :)

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  2. I have always felt men gossip more den womens and they never think if the stuff they heard abt some girl is true or not and they go on spreading it virally. To my experience once my room mate had called her mom from local telephone bhoot wen v used to stay in hostel as she was home sick. She started crying while talking to her mom, some boys standing there noticed it and next day the rumors wer spread that she is pregnant and was crying tellin dis to her guy on phone from telephone bhoot.. This is the heights of embarrassment to any girl who goes through such a thing.. :(

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    1. Oh god! that is worse for ur friend..! hope she overcame it by giving back nicely!! :)

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  3. hey KP: even if they gossip about you, you know it is gossip na so why bother,only when you bother and respond you add meaning to the gossip, ignore all the gossips, it is not necessary to have everyone in life or take in everyone's opinion into account, life may be short,but still instead of concentrating time on everyone, and letting a chance for everyone around you to know about you(there again you give a chance for people to gossip),why not use your time wisely on those who matter the most,by doing so,by ignoring those not so necessary you would probably give them time to mature more...
    Ignoring may not be always be bad...
    It might mean a lot of things...
    Sometimes you know people ignore out of love...
    Sometimes,you know very little times...
    It has the risk of losing...
    It gives more pain to those who ignores than who is being ignored...
    Coz the one who ignores knows there is a risk of losing,while the ignored is ignorant...
    But those are immature times...

    If people are mature there is no need of ignoring, you can always talk and come to a conclusion...
    but again though you know it is the conclusion, though u know it is way..
    though you know it is what it is...
    though you know it is right...

    there requires enormous amount of maturity and clarity of thoughts and presumptions to accept it, and whole heartedly joyfully with radiant energy to live with it...

    that requires really want a good load amount of clarity..

    again it is not the number of friends you have, that counts...
    you gain nothing in remaining in touch with everyone,accepting the friend request of everyone to be more plainer...
    rather deepen the relationship with the valued,and increase the value in it...
    you actually give them the time to find their valued ones...

    Whatever coming back to the gossips...
    Gossiping is human tendency for at least a great number of people...
    It makes them forget their sorrows and troubles for quiet a while..
    It is like as you said spinning a tale,won't you get excited when something interesting happens to the character you created, it is similar to that, but the thing is they do with real humans, just accept the fact that gossiping is human tendency, and those who really know you and value you will NEVER EVER,GET ATTRACTED BY THOSE SILLY GOSSIP...

    so to those gossips and those who gossip just ignore,KP...
    you have far more greater things in life to think about,I guess....

    don't form any opinions about those who gossip either...
    just ignore it all ...

    <3

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    1. Oh dear Surya.. thanks a lot for your support.. u make me feel good with those words.. but I always feel good when i shout out rather than keep it inside.. what do u say? is it better to shout and forget rather than try to ignore when it burns red in ur heart? thanks dear for the wonderful comment! u make me feel nice!

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  4. I wont deny the fact that yes women are more into gossips than men but that doesnt mean that men dont indulge in such a thing. Its just that jealousy brews much more on the female side so such things are bound to arise too.
    And yes, the ultimate question does remain what why do people have to do it? I guess its more because people around them entertain and give importance.

    sarah

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  5. Hey even I agree... Men gossip and women do too.. And the only question that arises on this earth is why? why to gossip.. I hate gossips! I stay as far away from them as I can :)

    Cheers,

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    1. but some how it gets us!! how far we remain doesnt it Tanvi?

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  6. So many questions unanswered........the envy, the hatred, the ego...there may be so many combinations of reasons unjustifiable....human nature is so strange and unfathomable.....your triggered some thoughts that's going to revive the rebel in me:)
    Regards KP:) I know I missed your Fiction Post....I would savour it when I get some mind...or else I wont be able to do justice to your post:) Lots of Love:)

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    1. Oh.. the rebel in u is always active.. I know! and no issues dear it is just a twisty tale.. savor it any time!

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  7. And hey...I loved this look of your page:)You have changed it right?

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    1. haha! my blogs season has changed dear.. from the fresh spring to this calm autumn! soooooooooooo very happy that u liked it! :)

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  8. Hey KP mashe,

    Any belief that says men won't do what women might do is definitely false.

    I guess everyone gossips once in a while. When it (like any other human activity) is not really malicious, it is OK, isn't it? With gossip, it is usually malicious, I know...but the ones that you have mentioned are of course really malicious. And at times, it really affects one's life. But often, gossips too decay with time...

    Of course, the easiest (and probably, the only) way to deal with it is: what do you care what others think or say? Easy to preach that...in practice, if and when I get really affected, I think I might use a cricket bat on the culprits! :)))

    By the way, a different question: how would you feel if nobody gossips about you? I think I would like to enter some gossip...HaHaH

    Cheerio & take care.

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    1. U are right mashe as always u r right! :)
      and just now i wondered.. isnt it the easiest way to become popular? the celebrities use it all the time! he he! :D

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  9. I fully agree with Pygmalion's view.:-) DOn't bother....simple...

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    1. Well yes rahul.. u are the wise one! :) i agree too!

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  10. Ignorance is bliss :) That's the best thing to do :)

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  11. Boy, is that a myth-buster or is that a myth-buster! Men do indeed gossip. They do it even more if the listener is ignorant and gullible. That goes for any gossiping from any side, I'd wager. There will not be a gossiper if it weren't for such a listener. As for its contagiousness, there's nothing quite disgusting like it.

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    1. well although it is a known fact.. not many men acknowledge it.. and u have mentioned a very valid point here... that I missed in the post!

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  12. People gossip for time pass.. you can't stop it. Your well being is important for you. So surround yourself with good things :)

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    1. Well Raja we cannot always surround us with good things there is gutter and garden every where.. but we can avoid them! but the tricky part is to spot the real root gossiper.. they are wiser and disguise well!

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  13. Hi KP,Many do it a full-time. Its better to slap them at face & stop worrying abt. If U do it once,it will surely stop

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    1. Oh Christy! I wish u were there in person to help me out in such situations! thanks dear!

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  14. If men say they doh't gossip then they lie themselves, because i myself have seen men doing that. They don't just gossip, but talk of the girl in such an dirty and abusive manner which spoils the image of that girl very badly. Gossiping about someone is not bad, but it should not harm somebody's image.

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    1. That is the exact same thing i meant in this post! thanks dear Elvirah!

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  15. Ofcourse Mars lives kind of same life as venus does. The difference is MArs(men) hardly let the current pass on the venus(women) and our planet doesn't follow any such protocol. So hence its a basic misconception that they don't gossip... I have peeked in their territory a few times, and i have seen their circuits passing on from one to other quite uniformly without much chaos...
    So hence, its doesn't depend on Gender but from person to person!!!!

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  16. Yea, even I have noticed that trait in my new office, and I was stunned. Adjectives and labels with women are associated with, are not only restricted to women, in fact they are not gender basis. We try to ignore, but then we cant coz it makes us wonder why are they so bothered about something which isnt right ? But then the world, had lot of people like that isnt it ? we cant do anything, but fret and fume, and find a way to cool ourselves ..

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    1. Isnt it tough dear dreamygal.. the whole aspect of life..! thanks for the comment!

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  17. not every "Why" has an easy answer...

    and we have a sea of "why" its just one of them but still a obvious 'why' ..

    good one..

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    1. Yep.. totally!! :) thanks for the visit!

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  18. Hi KP, I have something for you on my blog.. Please do come and collect it:)

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    1. You gave me a shocking surprise dear.. thanks a million!:)

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  19. When people have nothing better to do, They end up gossiping about others, practically anyone they set their eyes on and begin to tear apart the image of the person, as if they know them very well. As people here were saying, It's best not to be bothered by all that is being spoken about. One just needs to understand that those who are gossiping are just insanely jealous.
    Nice Blog :-)

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  20. Hehe.. as ashwini rightly said, when we have no good work, people start to gossip and i personally feel men gossip more than women, but no word will go out of the team..
    WHy bother ? you have short stories to write(which must have my name as a character(HERO)) :P :P
    lovely post...
    Now brown ? green I LIKED IT :( :(

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  21. aah! of course men gossip! gossip is prevalent everywhere - across genders. sometimes the chit-chats are fun but its also very easy for it to get really vicious

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  22. There is a surprise for you.


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    -Rupertt Wind

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  23. gossips can be nice or bad, it depends all on the gossip and the gossiper ! ;)

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  24. Everyone gossips. Male or female- does not make any difference. In fact some try to justify the same as 'harmless gossip'! Who decides what is harmful and what is harmless? Especially the talk about someone whose husband is abroad.....

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  25. நல்ல தான் இருக்கு. ஆனா கொஞ்சம் நானும் எதாவுது ஓலைரீர்வனோநு பயமா தான் இருக்கு...

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  26. Being a victim of such gossips i wanted to shout at people...but there was no one to hear. It is hard to keep quite and pretend that it doesn't hurt you. The only thing i could do was, let my hurt be carried away with some words. So I wrote everything I felt. But sometimes words fall short. After reading this post...I somehow feel consoled. What I couldn't write...you have. Thanks...keep writing.

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