A Monsoon Coffee

Her morning chores though not much were finished, she didn't have much work as she was an independent middle aged women living all by herself and this many years of practice made her perform it monotonously and mechanically faster.

It was her favorite hour now, the tea time, monsoon rain was beating lethargically on the half opened window sill, and she sat next to it, with her freshly brewed coffee, spying her neighbours little garden of lovely roses drenched with rain. The sight soothed her so much that it has been her routine for many years to sit along the window side, and watch the plants evolve through different season...

Her serene solitude was lost by a call in bell. She was startled, that was weird, she never gets visitors that too on a stormy day with doubt she opened the door, the first thing that greeted her were few rain drops, the floor was getting drenched, she half closed the door and stood with only her face peering out. The house owner never fixed the porch and so it was hard for anyone to stand there, in normal days they face the direct sun, and in days like these they were taking a second shower.

She looked up to see a boy or per say a gentle man in his early twenties.. he was trying in vain with one hand to stoop the rain falling in his head and in other held a book. He smiled at her to which she gave him a questioning glance..

“Hi Madam, can I speak to Nithi?” he enquired, while still trying hard to protect himself from the falling rain.

Her eyes brightened, now she knows why the lad was there, “No.. she vacated from here last month.” so saying she closed the door.

Nithi was her paying guest for the past 4 years, and never brought a guest, occasionally some friends drop by, but she couldn’t remember the face of this lad. A thunder and few lightning shook her as she sat down to enjoy her coffee.

Again a bell...

Just go...

Good byes are heartless

Valedictory words are needless

Hugs and kisses seem soulless

Handshakes appear juvenile

So Just go..

Do not linger  for last glance

Or fumble for explanations..

For these are futile gestures

of something that never nurtures,

So just go..

Don’t brood over my plight

There would come a day

When your image fades

and withers from my mind…

Until then just go..

There would come a day

When I can overlook you in a crowd..

When I can stare into your eyes and smile

Without a pang or missing a beat

And walk away as mere stranger..

 until that day just go..

As you did today...!

Shadow

 

As a dark and depressing hollow veil,

it walks beneath me unaltered

It stalks when I move

Stays still with me too

The color I wear, my emotion, my thought
Hold same blank impervious gaze in it
Is it a reminder of an unhealed wound?

Or the fore teller of a looming catastrophe

In my lonely nights, there is a recurring illusion

of two gleaming eyes peering at me

Devilish smile and dark hands engulfing

As the last ray of light flickers and dies
 

But my spirit and faith still remain unbeaten

That which cannot be shaken

That which remains and battles
until the last ray of hope dies down..

Splash of Colors

Emotions are hard to hide

Even harder to decipher

If only I could express myself in colors

I would be free of all the revulsion piled on me

My anger would be flaming orange..

Burning with vitality that washes away quickly..

For me peace and green go together..

Like the soft bristled meadow

Inviting to rest in peace..

My sorrow would be Grey

Resembling the stormy sky

Waiting to pour down and clear off

Yellow suits my passion

Bright with vigor of love and desire

Blue would symbolize my evil side

Like the miraculously calm deep sea 
hidden with inconceivable peril

Then I would be one black shadow

Filled with all the colors in the world

and yet again become

Hard to hide and

Even harder to decipher

Be deluded..



Be in a delusion if reality is far more bizarre

Weave a world for yourself,

Where you are the king and life is a fairy tale

Throw in your favorite fantasy!!

Neither restrict nor control

Don’t logicize

Let your spirit generously mosey

Live fullest in there...

In the real world

People may despise you..

They may say you are unstable

Just smile at them..!

They will never know how reverent your world is..

Mother India

When your rosy feet touched me for the first time

I knew that I am a mother again

You fell down and got up for your first step

I knew that you never give up

When your feet reached the finish line in the race

You kneeled down and kissed me!

My motherly heart was swollen with pride

I adored you just like my other son

Who spilled his blood on me for ME..

Yet, you spit on me and say,

No one can change this country

And walk away seeking better prospects

I weep silently, without complaint

As you follow the path of your other inactive brothers

In betrayal, in assault, in poverty, in terror… I weep..

I don’t hate you.. I never can..

For I am your Motherland

Who knows only to LOVE!

Forgotten

Ability to forget is a blessing

Being forgotten is a curse…

When I toil in the curse

You some how seem to be blessed..!!

Confession

Short story

The Bed was too soft.. but his conscience was too hard to let him sleep peacefully.."

Courtesy: Google search

It was pricking him.. Suffocating him.. her fair hands under his neck seem to gag him.. he should tell her, because he can’t live with the guilt.. no matter what! He got up slowly and switched on the light. His wife who was very tired was awaken suddenly, and irritated when the light hit her eyes like sharp needles.. Their 5 yr old son have been crying from the evening.. and it was tiresome for her to calm him down, and by the time he slept it was 2.. and now she was awake within half hour. He didn’t eat too neither did she, it might have been because of the change in place. They have come to her parent’s house only a day before and her exhausting body was weighing her down to take rest..


"What?" she asked in a lazy tone,  rubbing her eyes, that still couldn’t get accustomed to the light. He didn’t reply, he sat like a dumb fool staring at her..
"Whaaat do youu want? water? is that why you switched on the light.. why don't you go and take it yourself dear.. don't you see how tired I am..?" she kept speaking still reluctant to open her eyes..


"It was me dear..! It was me who did it.." he murmured..
"Did what?".. she knew before she finished her sentence.. she blinked and stared at him.. "Was that you?.. Oh my.. oh my.. " her face was restless and she was staring down then she looked sharply at him and asked, "along with?" when she didn’t get the reply she stressed again "with? Were you alone? Dont tell me that you were alone? you disgusting fellow.. who was it with u?" she stared at his chubby face with revulsion and contempt...
"No no.. not alone..hmm your.. your sister..!.. I.. am..sorr.."
"Stop it.." she shouted.. "with my sister.. my sister.. Oh my GOD! " she said closing her mouth with both the hands like she was going to throw up.. "How did I not see that coming.. with both of your similarity in taste and everything.. "

Just a wish..

I wish I was just blank with no thoughts.. just like a fallen leaf.. but no.. this was not granted. All the wishes are not granted are they?


Mine were granted until I turned 20 and then I didn't know what to wish for.. it was easy before that.. wishing for a doll.. for good marks.. wishing for not getting scoldings for forgetting the homework, for new dress the wish were simple, but I thought they were too much for the mighty God.. so at times I bargained with him, I remember saying "If you let the teacher take leave today, I wouldn't fight with my brother any more..." how silly of me.. But it is nice to be silly and think silly than to not to be silly and act silly still.. right?

Courtesy: Google search

But then as I grew older my beliefs were questioned.. who am I wishing to? Is God really out there? If so does he not know what is good for me? then why are some suffering and some happy..why do we leave for the society? Why fearing the rules created by another Man? when we don't fear the so called rules created by GOD? I tried to search the truth.. then started to explore religion.. when it comes to religion I like it better to listen than read.. I listened.. to my friend talk about Bible and Noah and apple.. I watched "Passion of Christ" with unbatted eyes, I heard Islam.. I saw Sulfi.. Nirvana.. Raja yoga.. karma yoga..  Bagavadgita.. Ramayana.. Mahabaratha..


But yes I was not successful in reaching any where for I am lazy.. to reach the end.. or was I afraid to know till the end.. or is it so intellectual that it does not enter the idiotic mind of mine? then something strikes me.. the "Do your duty" part in gita.. this confuses me, how do I know which is my duty? how do I know if I am destined to perform the act or not? how do I know?


These are just the questions of a silly girl..asking this question is like sitting in Kinder garden and talk about Master degree syllabus.. and would be answered only if I explore more and more and more.. but still I am lazy.. and tired.. with life and its twist and turn.. and as I stand helplessly having no control over the life.. I couldn't help but wonder.. is this my duty..


I really don't know why I am writing this.. or why any one should read this.. but then as I said I am confused and I am not BLANK.. I still wish I was...

The Bubble

Short Story

"Isn’t it always nice to admire the bubble from distance..

Why touch and break it and sink into the sad reality"

I remember how I was awed and was made to be scared of a same lady, every one in the neighborhood said she was mad and out of her mind. But she was not, to my eyes. She smiled at me, and shared sweets with me, I was grateful to her and in turn would take her home when even I see her lost in our vicinity, especially in the railway station behind my house. She would say that her son and husband were coming in that train and she was waiting for them.

I would take her hands and say in my childish tone, "Did you not see aunt? your son is at home I saw him come..”, and then she would drag me as fast as her fragile body would take her and run back. But in the mid way she would stand still like in a daze. Then would take me to the nearby park or store and pass off the time, like she forgot where we were heading. I used to rejoice at her stupid mind that forgot things so fast.. and how easily I could fool her but now as I look back, I am amazed by her mastermind and prudence and how her mind had beautifully changed track..

Cycle of Life

She was falling down helplessly

Trying to hold on to the white hands in vain

The hands that protected her once was not there now

She couldn’t escape the fall..

It was a shrill shrieking pain that she felt..

So did many others

She fell down.. Thousands of feet below to the barren land

Splashed and wasted, still her soul intact..

She was not a rain drop any more but water the source of life

She stayed silent and let herself be absorbed by the desolate land..

After a long silence and darkness she was reborn

As a drop of honey in the flower she shone with hope.

For she knew the secret and the cycle of life..