Saturday, July 9, 2011

Last pages of the diary...

I sit down to write every night, and write.. after few moments I see that the only key had been used again and again. is the backspace.. How easily am I able to create and delete my virtual presence.. and yet how hard is it to live incapable of deleting or re-doing the real existence... A lot remain tangled in my head.. a lot of ideas.. stories.. thoughts..  nothing comes out as a single straw.. that I can pull out proudly and show case to others, I find myself dumb.. sitting in front of my screen staring at it.. My brain is as lazy as my body and make my thoughts as clumsy and muddy as possible...or may be I am not that good in expressing or juggling with words..

Courtesy: Google search
Still the urge remains, the need to write and vent out..  somebody asked me once, how I wanted to live? I said... like the last pages of the diary..

Those pages that we fill in just for the sake of filling, those pages that no one bothers to disturb.. those pages that are caught in between the windmill of life.... struggling to free itself from the diary to fly away carelessly, aimlessly in the wind, swaying to and fro, still undisturbed by the gust and force of the wind..dancing to every music of life and finally falling down majestically with the same brightness and rest in peace..

I know that my words contradict themselves, however that remains to be true, I am confused.. what am I? As I sit down to update my profile, I question myself What am I? how to explain myself with.. leave-off few.. even with a single word.. weird.. mysterious.. different..?? Some body once called me deluded.. The deluded girl.. I would rather say.. one who foolishly deluded herself into believing the unsaid and unheard..?? well.. Who knows and Who cares...


  1. KP,
    I like these words:

    "Those pages that we fill in just for the sake of filling, those pages that no one bothers to disturb.."

    We can only keep on writing, right? At times, the writing turns out to be a sole companion...

    Some time back, I wrote a (mystery?) story about a guy who starts with the last page of his diary and starts filling up the earlier pages to reach that conclusion...

    At times, life seems that way too, right? Living backwards, I mean...:)

  2. I love this post fact this is the one I like beautifully you expressed your perplexed state...completely in unison with my thought patterns...just loved it:-)

  3. Hey Nasnin.. It really feels nice to know that there are disturbed and confused souls out there... :-) like the lone tree here..! May be that is why I like blogging to social networking... this is one place where we need not be plastic and still meet identical people... Thank you dear for the encouragements..

    Hi Nonentities.. thanks a lot for the visit and your views.. Hmmm we can only look back rite? A mother says to a child.. everything will be alright as u grow up.. Growing up makes us to only long to go back rite? Weird..!

  4. How simple they sound, yet how profound they are!
    Expressions at their best, is the least i can say about this post :)

    Best Wishes from:
    An erstwhile Diary Writer turned Blogger!

  5. Hi Viyoma..

    Thank you..! happy that you liked it..
    How silly na what we write with confused mind seem to be very clear after some time... :-)

  6. I am glad that you are writing. I don't even know you. But I felt glad. That you, through the medium of poems and so called "weird" posts try to bring out something inside you.

    Words are hard. Letting out words is even harder. May be that is why 'backspace' is as big as 'enter'..


  7. Hey Fragile ur comment is like a poem.. thanks a lot...

  8. Hey FP..
    Ya.. truely.. "Words are hard. Letting out words is even harder. May be that is why 'backspace' is as big as 'enter'.. "

    Arent these yours..??

  9. I believe what we call weird and deluded is in truth the only sensible thing. The 'normal' people are not as normal as they show or even think they are.

  10. Absolutely.. Jojo I agree 100%.. !