Just a wish..

I wish I was just blank with no thoughts.. just like a fallen leaf.. but no.. this was not granted. All the wishes are not granted are they?


Mine were granted until I turned 20 and then I didn't know what to wish for.. it was easy before that.. wishing for a doll.. for good marks.. wishing for not getting scoldings for forgetting the homework, for new dress the wish were simple, but I thought they were too much for the mighty God.. so at times I bargained with him, I remember saying "If you let the teacher take leave today, I wouldn't fight with my brother any more..." how silly of me.. But it is nice to be silly and think silly than to not to be silly and act silly still.. right?

Courtesy: Google search

But then as I grew older my beliefs were questioned.. who am I wishing to? Is God really out there? If so does he not know what is good for me? then why are some suffering and some happy..why do we leave for the society? Why fearing the rules created by another Man? when we don't fear the so called rules created by GOD? I tried to search the truth.. then started to explore religion.. when it comes to religion I like it better to listen than read.. I listened.. to my friend talk about Bible and Noah and apple.. I watched "Passion of Christ" with unbatted eyes, I heard Islam.. I saw Sulfi.. Nirvana.. Raja yoga.. karma yoga..  Bagavadgita.. Ramayana.. Mahabaratha..


But yes I was not successful in reaching any where for I am lazy.. to reach the end.. or was I afraid to know till the end.. or is it so intellectual that it does not enter the idiotic mind of mine? then something strikes me.. the "Do your duty" part in gita.. this confuses me, how do I know which is my duty? how do I know if I am destined to perform the act or not? how do I know?


These are just the questions of a silly girl..asking this question is like sitting in Kinder garden and talk about Master degree syllabus.. and would be answered only if I explore more and more and more.. but still I am lazy.. and tired.. with life and its twist and turn.. and as I stand helplessly having no control over the life.. I couldn't help but wonder.. is this my duty..


I really don't know why I am writing this.. or why any one should read this.. but then as I said I am confused and I am not BLANK.. I still wish I was...

The Bubble

Short Story

"Isn’t it always nice to admire the bubble from distance..

Why touch and break it and sink into the sad reality"

I remember how I was awed and was made to be scared of a same lady, every one in the neighborhood said she was mad and out of her mind. But she was not, to my eyes. She smiled at me, and shared sweets with me, I was grateful to her and in turn would take her home when even I see her lost in our vicinity, especially in the railway station behind my house. She would say that her son and husband were coming in that train and she was waiting for them.

I would take her hands and say in my childish tone, "Did you not see aunt? your son is at home I saw him come..”, and then she would drag me as fast as her fragile body would take her and run back. But in the mid way she would stand still like in a daze. Then would take me to the nearby park or store and pass off the time, like she forgot where we were heading. I used to rejoice at her stupid mind that forgot things so fast.. and how easily I could fool her but now as I look back, I am amazed by her mastermind and prudence and how her mind had beautifully changed track..

Cycle of Life

She was falling down helplessly

Trying to hold on to the white hands in vain

The hands that protected her once was not there now

She couldn’t escape the fall..

It was a shrill shrieking pain that she felt..

So did many others

She fell down.. Thousands of feet below to the barren land

Splashed and wasted, still her soul intact..

She was not a rain drop any more but water the source of life

She stayed silent and let herself be absorbed by the desolate land..

After a long silence and darkness she was reborn

As a drop of honey in the flower she shone with hope.

For she knew the secret and the cycle of life..